Are STEAMED CLAMS bad for you?

I went for a fancy dinner with my lady friend the other night. I had the STEAMED CLAMS and she had the boiled goose. Afterwards I felt ill so we went back to hers. We started getting intimate until I then threw up on her. I then started having violent diahrreah. I tried crawling to the bathroom but then tentacles spurted out from me. I then ripped open my chest and consumed my girlfriend. I think she's a bit pissed....any advice?